Often, I feel like I’m trapped. I’m surrounded by scary faces and there’s just no escape. It’s like one moment I’ll be completely fine, by then my parents get home and my chest starts tightening, my heart starts racing and my hands get all sweaty and tingly. It’s the most horrible feeling in the world.
Now, this isn’t something really physical, or exterior. It isn’t like a car accident that will just heal over time, this is INSIDE your body. You can’t escape your body, and that’s the unfortunate reality of my panic and anxiety. Then, after those feeling of panic set in, the depression comes in. The feeling of not having enough energy to even get up in the morning or be around your friends because your scared your gonna have another episode. It sucks. I’m only fourteen(going on 15) and I’ve had the unfortunate experience in the most public places like church. But now, it’s happening in the privacy of my own home. I’m afraid to even take a shower because I’m worried I won’t get out fast enough and I’ll suffocate, of course I DO take the shower, enduring my panic as I shampoo my hair. What sucks is that I feel like no one is understanding. While I do love that my parents are trying to help, it’s not something they can help with. This problem is internal and it’s really scary.
Being raised in a Christian home, my mom told me to call on the name of Jesus and it does help…for a little bit, but then the doubt creeps in to my mind. Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to get over this, not because God can’t heal me, but because He won’t want to. I’m not even close to deserving the help, but I know if this horrible anxiety, panic, and depression would leave my body, I’d be so grateful and I’d do whatever it takes to keep my peace. Until then, I’ll keep trying. Maybe my faith WILL over come this bad anxiety…
My Struggle with Panic, Anxiety, and Depression.
Reblog if you’re tired of people comparing Il Volo to One Direction
Il Volo tiene mucho mas talentoThey’re nothing alike
I remember the childhood we shared together. A whole previous life. We’d go in Piero’s back yard and play with mud and rocks and little bugs we’d find. We would always lay sleeping bags on my balcony and stare at the stars, we’d even make up little stories for each one but always fell asleep…
